A man who can’t bring himself to “get over” the nineties has refused to remove his bucket hat whilst in a restaurant, prompting security to chuck him out.
Thirty nine year old Dave “the rave” Smith, from Manchester, England, is said to have “resisted” the subtle hints made by the waitress, plus other diners within Rosso restaurant, to “lose the hat” because it looks “fucking silly”, whilst out for dinner with girlfriend Diane, before being outright asked to take it off, prompting him to tell the owner to “piss off”.
“I don’t see what the problem is,” claimed Dave. “If these hats are good enough for Ian Brown and Liam Gallagher, then Rosso needs to accept ‘em. It weren’t like this back in the Madchester days when I’d get down Hacienda with Bez from the Mondays. Everyone loved and respected each other because it was all about the music. Now I’ve got some jumped up, two-bob, knowing nothing little Hitler telling me my hat, Kagool, and flared jeans aren’t the right attire for his establishment. I should have twatted him.”
Wunderground spoke to Diane about the incident, “This happens every weekend,” she sighed. “He needs to accept the nineties are over before it ruins his life. Last weekend he went down to London and stood next to a phone box for twelve hours, waiting for a call about an illegal rave taking place somewhere on the M25. That call never came and he ended up hitchhiking home. If we ain’t watching Cold Feet reruns, we’re listening to the Trainspotting soundtrack or talking about how close Gazza was to getting on the end of that cross against the Germans.”
“Sasha and Digweed played together down in Kent a few weeks ago and that almost tipped him over the edge,” continued Diane. “He reckons it was the best DJ set since the turn of the century and proof the nineties is alive and kicking. I’m at a loss with what to do as he won’t acknowledge anything that’s happened since 1 January 2000. This week he quit his job because he wants to take love doves and look after his Tamagotchi.”
