A man who claimed there was absolutely no chance he would be going back to Ibiza after ten consecutive holidays in ten years now reckons he probably has one more trip in him.
Thirty-eight-year-old Ian Reilly claimed he was “destroyed” after six days in Ibiza last August and despite claiming that he was “done” with the island is currently in the process of planning “one last hurrah” in July.
“I’ve been saying for a few years now that this year will definitely be my last year of going to Ibiza,” explained Reilly, a banker in London city. “This year is different, this will definitely be my last time. I’m just getting too old for it, last year it took me a full month to get over my holiday so I’m going to do it a bit differently this time and check out a lot more beaches and restaurants, it’s going to be a much more mature approach to the island than I’ve done in the past.”
“Honestly, the only reason I went last year because it was the last ever year for Space and I’m only going back this year is to see exactly what they’ve done it,” continued Reilly. “Not knowing that is the type of thing that would haunt me for the rest of my life, even though it will be really well documented online.”
“While I’m there, I’ll probably see how Elrow is getting on in Amnesia, check out Coxy in Privilege, take in a pool party at Ibiza Rocks, take a trip to the Zoo and see how Eden is looking these days,” claimed Reilly, “but apart from all of that, it’s going to be nothing but relaxing for the entire time I’m there.”
Anne Smith, Mr Reilly’s girlfriend, claims there’s no way he’ll be taking it in any way easy while he’s on the island.
“He must be fucking mental if he thinks it’s going to end up any other way than him getting absolutely off his tits for a week,” she told Wunderground. “He can’t even go for a pint here without it ending in a two-day session so I don’t know how he thinks he’s going to behave himself in Ibiza. He’s already been on to his mate over there who sorts him out with drugs so he’s lying through his teeth if he claims he’s going t be relaxing.”
According to experts, “I won’t be going back to Ibiza” is the most common lie told worldwide and the only people who definitely won’t be going back to Ibiza are dead people.