Man Who Says Berghain Over 9000 Times Each Day Finally Explodes
A man who has said the word Berghain at least 9,000 times per day, for the last five years, has reportedly exploded.
Michael James, a twenty-seven-year-old mechanic from Bristol, England, is believed to have become “obsessed with Berghain” after a weekend visit to Berlin in 2013.
Best friend Steven Wilson spoke to Wunderground earlier, “Fucking ‘Berghain, Berghain, Berghain’ that’s all I ever hear of Mick’s mouth these days.”
“He never talks about anything else, the fucker didn’t even get into the club when he was in Berlin, he stood outside queueing for eight hours, got told to fuck off and still says it was the best night of his life.”
“I’m not surprised he exploded,” he told us. “If he hadn’t, I probably would have fucking killed him myself.”
Doctors have confirmed that, despite exploding, the man is expected to make a full recovery.
“It’s very unusual to see someone explode and come out of it looking as good as this guy,” claimed Doctor Philip Quinn.
“We didn’t even have to put him back together that much, he’s made of tough stuff this fella.”
“We have him in an induced coma, he was fully conscious when he came in but he wouldn’t shut up about some place called Berghain so we filled him full of ketamine and knocked him out.”