A man in Denver, Colorado, has started a crowdfunding campaign to buy the rights to all of will.i.am’s music and destroy it forever.
Jack Carthy started the campaign on the popular crowdfunding website Indiegogo three days ago and has been “totally shocked” by the public’s response.
“To be honest I started the whole campaign as a bit of a joke when I was bored a few days ago, I never thought it’d get the response it did,” claimed Carthy during an exclusive interview with Wunderground. “It’s been amazing, we’re only three days in and we’ve already reached twenty five percent of our target so with another twenty seven days to go we’re sure to reach our goal.”
“I set a ridiculously high target of $100,000,000 for a couple of reasons,” explained Carthy. “First off I wanted to make the whole campaign as ridiculous as possible and, secondly, I know will.i.am is a greedy bastard and it would take an offer that high to have any chance of making him sell.”
“With twenty five million in the bank I’ve already hired a lawyer to contact will.i.am’s management and try to strike out a deal,” continued Carthy. “Early sign are promising, we have a meeting scheduled for this time next week when we’re hoping to have at least fifty mill to bargain with.”
“”It’s just really great to know that there are other people out there who hate will.i.am and his cheap brand of forgettable music as much as I do,” said Carthy enthusiastically. “I’ll destroy all the original copies of the music ceremoniously and I’ll ban anyone from ever playing them publicly again. If this campaign works I’ll move onto David Guetta, who knows where we’ll end up, just imagine how much of a better place the world would be if we could rid ourselves of all of this nonsensical music.”
Some of the perks offered as rewards to funders of Mr. Carrty’s Indiegogo project include; a high five, a copy of his full iTunes library, oral sex from a will.i.am lookalike and worldwide respect.