Man Wearing Backpack On Dancefloor Convinced People Are Trying To Open It
A man on the dancefloor wearing a backpack repeatedly keeps thinking that someone behind him is trying to open it.
24-year-old Harry Byrne, who earlier tonight dropped two pills and has had a “raft of pints”, says that he doesn’t want to leave his bag in the cloakroom because he doesn’t want to queue at the end of the night but that now someone is trying to open his bag.
“I’ve been wearing the backpack tonight with my jacket, a small bag of weed and a bottle of vodka that I managed to smuggle in, every time I put it on though I keep thinking that I can feel the zip being opened,” explained Harry, while Harry’s friend Sam made the twirly finger mental motion beside his head. “Every time I get into a track I have to stop and scowl at the person behind me, to let them know I can feel them at my bag and am not mental.”
Harry claims he has so far thrown daggers at 15 innocent people who he suspected of trying to sneakily rob his bag and that all of them plead innocence when asked did they touch the bag.
“I asked my friend Niall who was with me if anyone was at my bag and he said no, that I was being a paranoid weirdo and should probably just put the bag on the ground between my feet,” continued Harry. “But then I might fall over it, best just keep it on my back but look around every few seconds so I can catch whoever is doing it.”
Harry isn’t the first person to experience the mysterious “someone is at my bag phenomenon” with a whopping 67% of festival goers reporting that they too have felt that someone was trying to open their bags when dancing with on their backs.
“I don’t know why I keep thinking it, might be because I’m feeling a bit off my tits and tender which is maybe causing me to be paranoid about the smallest things,” he concluded. “There’s nobody there or it’s just someone brushing up against it and its fine.”
Reports however claim that most of the time when you think someone is trying to open your backpack there actually is someone there but they’re just really quickly pulling their hands away and looking in a different direction when you turn around to investigate.
“Oh there’s defo people at your bag and it’s not all in your head,” claimed the report. “You should probably keep looking behind you like a paranoid mess until you catch them in the act.”