A man who mistook a festival portiloo for an elevator while high on acid has said that he “probably won’t go back to the basement” after climbing into the portable toilet’s tank and getting covered in a full day’s worth of piss and shit.
Matty McClintock, a twenty two year old student from Glasgow, Scotland, made the foul smelling mistake yesterday afternoon at this year’s T in the Park music festival.
Matty’s friend, Brian Watson, spoke to Wunderground, “We managed to get our hands on some really strong acid yesterday afternoon and myself, Matty and a couple of the other lads decided to drop it and go and look for the Slam Tent.”
“Once we started to come up on the acid there was no way we were finding it, we were walking around in circles giggling so we decided we’d just stop where we were and sit on the ground for a wee while,” explained Watson. “We parked ourselves right in front of a big block of toilets and started tripping balls and laughing at everything.”
“It felt like we’d been there for hours when Matty jumped up and shouted ‘I know where it is boys, it’s in the basement’ and made a beeline for the portiloos,” revealed Watson, while trying not to laugh at his friend’s misfortune. “Before we knew what was happening he’d disappeared into one of the toilets. None of us really took any notice until he came out ten minutes later covered from head to toe in shite.”
McClintock claims he “can’t Really remember” being inside the toilet, “My memory’s a bit hazy to be honest with you. I remember looking for the Slam Tent, then getting a lift down to the basement and the next thing I remember is being back in my tent covered in shit. I don’t know what was in that basement but I probably won’t be going back there.”
According to witnesses, despite being covered head to toe in human shit and piss, Mr McClintock was “definitely not the messiest” person they seen at this year’s T in the Park festival.
