A man who found a sheet of Plywood and some corrugated iron in an abandoned building site in Ibiza is set to open the island’s newest beach hotel this summer.
Englishman Peter Pipper, known to his friends as Pee Pee because of his initials and the fact that he constantly smells of piss, has been living in Ibiza for the last twelve years is set to open the “no star” resort on the island’s picturesque Cala Basa beach this May.
“I came to Ibiza years ago for bit of a holiday, fell in love with the place and I’ve been here ever since,” explained Peter during an interview with Wunderground. “It all started one hot Sunday in August 2003 on Bennirás Beach, I went to watch the drummers, took some magic mushrooms and a voice spoke to me, ‘Pete why are you wasting your life’ it said ‘you’re a hippy you’ve always known it’ and from that day until now I’ve lived a nomadic life on the island.”
“I haven’t had a haircut or trimmed my beard since,” confirmed Pee Pee, who really did smell of piss. “I’ve been living in abandoned buildings and building sites for the last five or six years, you’d be really surprised at how comfortable they can be, that’s how I got the idea for the beach hotel, I’m basically just moving my house to the beach and selling it to people, it’s a sort of a summer long Airbnb type of scenario.”
“We’ll have two rooms, one single and one double, both have a glorious ocean view and easy access to the beach,” continued the entrepreneurial hippy. “I’ll be the hotel manager, front of house, porter and chef and we’ll be offering all our customers bed and breakfast, which will be delivered to straight your room fresh from Spar every morning.”
“All for the low-low price of £199 pounds per person per night, making us one of the cheapest hotels in the area.”
According to island sources, Mr. Piper is also set to open a water park adjacent to the hotel after investing in a “large sheet of plastic, fifteen foot of garden hose and a bottle of Fairy Liquid”.
