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July 29, 2015
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Martin Garrix Goes Into Rehab For Boiled Sweets Addiction

EDM poster boy Martin Garrix has checked into a rehab facility in northern California to deal with his addiction to boiled sweets.

Garrix is believed to have checked himself into clinic after a number of family member and close friends, many of whom had had loose change stolen on them to facilitate the DJs addiction, held an intervention for the nineteen year old.

“Things had gotten really bad with Martin and the sweets,” explained childhood friend Dirk de Villiers. “He would show up at my apartment at three or four in the morning asking if I had any sweets or if he could borrow a couple of euros to go down to the twenty four hour shop and pick up some hard candy.”

“It’s hard to see your friend like that,” admitted a clearly upset Mr. de Villiers. “I’ve known Martin since we were kids, we used to eat boiled sweets together all the time but eventually I grew out of it as my palate matured and I started to eat other, more grown up things, like vegetables and fancy cheese. That never happened for Martin and I can’t help but feel a little responsible for the way he is now.”

According to friends of the DJ, Garrix was eating up to thirty dollars worth of boiled sweets everyday and while he could easily afford it, it was having serious negative effects on his physical and mental health.

“Martin’s sweet addiction was totally out of control the last couple of years,” revealed fellow Dutch DJ and potential father Tiësto. “He’s only nineteen and he’s already had five fillings, if he doesn’t quit the sweets soon he’ll have no teeth left.”

“Myself and Avicii have been trying to get him to some coke or meth, you know a good honest drug to get addicted to,” continued Tiësto, “but he just wasn’t interested at all, alls he wanted was sweets. Hopefully now he’ll get the help he needs to get himself clean.”

Garrix, pictured above under the influence of a quarter pound of sugary treats, is believed to be progressing well with his treatment and, despite a slight relapse where he ate two hundred and fifty individual portions of strawberry jam in the breakfast room, is expected to make a complete recovery.

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