One of the world’s leading vegan bloggers, Nancy de la Veal, has confirmed that McDonald’s chicken nuggets are now 100% vegan-friendly.
Speaking to a random person she met at a bus stop, Ms de la Veal claimed that the meat content in McNuggets is now so low, it is completely untraceable.
“Veganism is a really great cause,” she told the randomer. “It’s good for your mind, your body, your soul and the environment.”
“The only problem is, meat is fucking delicious,” she continued to the stranger who seemed to have zero interest in what she was saying. “That’s why there are so many shitty meat substitutes on the market.”
“But, it seems that McDonald’s have finally cracked it with their nuggets, they don’t really taste like chicken but they’re really tasty and there’s no actual meat in them whatsoever.”
McDonald’s CEO Ronald McDonald claimed that the “chicken flavoured meat like substance” which McNuggets are made from, will herald in a new era of co-operative eating between vegans and meat eaters.
“Well, to be honest with you, they’re 90% sawdust and 10% unidentified bacteria, it’s the bacteria that gives them their great flavour.”
“We want everyone to enjoy our food, not just meat eaters and people from the lower socioeconomic brackets,” continued McDonald.
“So, we’ve decided to appeal to vegans, who have plenty of money and will eat anything they believe is vegan-friendly, by removing all traces of meat from our meat.”
