Dance drug MDMA, also known by the street names ecstasy, yokes and garys, is set to be honoured by the dance music community for its special contribution to the genre at an exclusive ceremony in London next week.
“It’ll be a black tie classy affair with MDMA being the guest of honour and receiving the Lifetime Contribution to Music Award,” confided a source. “The most famous incarnation of the drug, the Mitsubishi, is expected to be in attendance as well as luminaries from the world of dance music Jeff Mills, Pete Tong and Carl Cox.”
Reports indicate that the dance music heavyweights will each take some ecstasy before each making speeches describing the contribution that ecstasy has had for their music. A tearful Bez from The Happy Mondays is expected to make a heartfelt speech commemorating the contribution that MDMA has made to music before performing an extended rendition of him dancing along to Step On which is expected to bring the house down.
“There won’t be a dry eye in the house,” added the source.
“We’ve also commissioned artist Banksy to design a 6 foot high sculpture of the MDMA molecule actually made of ecstasy which will stand on a plinth in Leicester Square lit by strobe lights with speakers emitting a specially compiled chronological mix of the history of dance music,” continued the organiser. “We expect it to last roughly 4 minutes before marauding gangs of ravers hack it to pieces before eating it.”
“Ecstasy has done about as much for the dance music scene as Cilla Black has done for Saturday night light entertainment and scousers,” concluded the source. “Without ecstasy you wouldn’t have Berghain, glowsticks or suicide Tuesdays.”