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May 2, 2016
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Ministry Of Sound To Run Candidates In General Election

Bosses at London’s Ministry of Sound nightclub have announced they are set to run a number of candidates in the upcoming general election.

The Elephant & Castle club has announced that it will reveal its political manifesto at their May 13th Cuff Party and also unveil their primary candidates, Amine Edge & Dance.

Wunderground spoke to Jeff, a spokesperson for Ministry of Sound, “With the way London’s nightlife and club culture has been attacked by councils and government in recent years, we feel that it’s time to look at alternative approaches to politics in this country. The only problem is, apart from those horrible bastards in UKIP, we have no alternative to the Tories or Labour.”

“We’ve had our hands burned by Tweedledee and Tweedledum too many times so the only option left is to run a couple of our own candidates,” continued Jeff. “We had a look around the office and, to be perfectly honest with you, none of us are exactly politician material, people don’t really vote for deviants, delinquents or drug addicts anymore, that was more of a sixties thing, so we’ve decided to ask a number of DJs who play here regularly to run on our behalf.”

“In Amine Edge & Dance, we think we’ve found the perfect candidates to be our primary runners,” continued the Ministry of Sound employee. “They are obviously shrewd businessman with a lot of experience dancefloors full of people and various campaigns but, more importantly, you look at them and you think ‘I’d vote for those guys which, according to polls, is how eighty percent of British people choose who they vote for.”

Amine Edge & Dance will be joined in the Cuff party by a number of other DJs who will play key roles in their push for election, including; campaign manager Jesse Perez, and international advisor Phil Weeks.

Jeremy Corbyn has claimed he spent 3 days partying in a kitchen with both candidates, and would fully support them in government.

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