A lawsuit was filed this week against prominent electronic musician Moby amid accusations that the 48 year old performer had been stealing urine samples and drinking them.
Moby is suspected to have been stealing and drinking urine samples for over two decades when a source says that the singer first got the taste for human urine after “a mix up involving a plastic glass of cloudy apple juice”.
Before that, it is believed that Moby contented himself by drinking his own piss and would sometimes “wait for a few hours to save up enough to have a few pints of the stuff, preferably over crushed ice with a little umbrella on top”.
It is not known exactly why Moby likes to drink other people’s piss, but it is suspected that the strict vegan may do it for the “perceived health benefits and sterilising action of piss…as well as the delicious taste”.
The samples stolen are believed to belong to a girl group from Philadelphia, First Choice, whose urine Moby apparently described as “tangy on the tongue, but crisp with a yellowy-brownish tint” believed to have been brought on by a urinary tract infection one of the group members was suffering from at the time after receiving an “aggressive, but not unpleasant fingerfucking from a brother’s friend whose hands were unclean from a day spent eating tacos with his hands and picking his nose and arse”.
Speculation that the samples stolen may have also included stool and semen are thus far unconfirmed, but sources close to Moby suggest that those suspicions may be founded, claiming they have often found “rows of jars filled with a variety of liquids along the wall in Moby’s recording studio”.
It is not known whether Moby has ever sucked piss straight from the source of a human penis or vagina, but early indications regarding the progress of the investigation suggest that “he probably, more than likely, definitely has”.
The case continues…
