Real Life

New mum who “doesn’t get minute to herself” still finding time to get pissed

A new mum complaining about “never getting a minute to herself” is still finding time to get pissed in the evenings, it has been revealed.

Twenty six year old Tracy Jackson, who is known for being a “bit of a knob” and a “keyboard warrior” when it comes to Facebook, is said to have uploaded thirty seven statuses in one day, moaning about how hard life is now she is a full time mother and how she “longs for the days” when she had no responsibility.

“Unless you’ve got children, you shouldn’t be allowed to complain about being tired or busy,” a pissed up Tracy told us. “My mates don’t know how well they’ve got it. They moan about being tired on a Monday morning after a weekend of getting on it at raves or being busy trying to hold down two jobs, when they don’t know the true meaning of exhaustion.”

“Only a full time parent, like me, should be allowed to write Facebook comments about it,” continued Tracy. “I’ve asked Facebook to add a new button called ‘no child no opinion’, which you can click on if someone without a child tries to talk. If I’m honest, I only really speak to other mum’s these days, they’re the only people I can relate to now because they’re also suffering from a severe lack of sleep. We all deserve a glass of wine in the evenings, due to how tough it is being a mother.”

Wunderground caught up with Tracy’s brother, Jacob, with regards to her constant complaining, “I’ve taken her off Facebook because she’s fucking irritating,” he confirmed. “She sits on her computer all day, moaning about how busy she is. She also posts those silly fucking quotes which try to undermine the opinion of anybody without a child. Then she sits in front of the tele all evening, watching Strictly, Love Island and Made in Chelsea, pounding the wines. How the fuck is that a stressful life?”

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