Ninja Tune have confirmed today that there is more to their name than people first thought, by admitting that they have A&R men hidden in every music venue across the world, from the lowliest of pubs to the largest of arenas.
Their spokesperson, Harry Kiri, made the statement today while hiding somewhere in the venue at the press conference.
“In keeping with our label name, we have hidden A&R men in every venue. The first artists to find them and play some music for them will be given the chance to be signed to Ninja Tune. Good luck.”
He then disappeared in a puff of smoke before any of the journalists gathered could question him.
Label bosses Matt Black and Jonathan More confirmed the statement today at their offices in London, however also confirmed that their office would be moved at the end of the day to avoid detection.
Publicists everywhere have welcomed the move, saying the use of “anti-publicity” has brought the art of publicity to a whole new level.
“If you try to find the Ninja Tune offices, you can’t,” said Dick Swathe of the In Your Face PR Company. “It’s genius. What a way to build publicity! We have never thought of it until now as we were too busy doing what’s been done a thousand times before, like marketing Hiphop artists by putting half dressed hoochies in the videos or marketing razors by patting men’s egos.”
“We are now going to adapt the idea and sell it to other companies. We’re going to recommend that McDonalds stops advertising every ad break, in an effort to make it seem more a up-market and selective restaurant. We will recommend that beer companies stop advertising at sports events in an effort to make their products seem like craft beers, which seem to be all the rage amongst the drunken kids of today.”
“And lastly, in an ironic twist,” he said, “we’re going to stop publicising our own PR company, and instead just spend the money on more cocaine for every member of staff, which is what the entire PR and marketing industry is really based on.”
Ninja Tune themselves will take the non-publicity PR campaign even further by not selling their CDs in shops or online anymore, but rather will just leave them on unsuspecting peoples’ pillows in the middle of the night.
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