An annual office Christmas party held at a local stationary supply company has been subject to a torrent of complaints and poor reviews after not one of the people attending the party saw it as appropriate to photocopy their rear ends.
The party, which took place last night, started well by all accounts with plenty of wine, music, festive decorations and food. As the merriment increased throughout the night several of the party goers began to become disappointed that the level of fun didn’t quite live up to the raunchy expectations of a Christmas party they had as a result of watching too many run of the mill sitcoms.
“You’re at a Christmas party you expect certain things,” offered manager Derek Lambe. “It’s all about traditions – someone will regretfully get off with someone else, hopefully somewhere on the premises, there’ll be festive music, silly hats, plenty of wine and, last but not least, some hilarious comedian will photocopy his or her arse.”
“When you go against tradition by not doing it then you might as well cancel Christmas,” he added. “Everything else is as ashes without someone photocopying their arse. It means nothing. If you just had one bloke straddling a photocopier it’d contain more Christmas cheer than the excited glint in a child’s eyes on Christmas Eve.”
“It was like they were trying to have some kind of non-traditional, hippy, humanist, Christmas,” offered co-worker, Betty. “I blame it on them atheists, trying to destroy Christmas with their logic. Well, arse photocopying is a Christmas tradition, like arguing and suicide.”
Head of Regional sales for the company, Alan Phelan, was said to be surprised by the public outcry and of the opinion that “someone photocopying their arse isn’t funny. It’s a sackable offence.”
