Packing nightclubs with so many people that it’s almost impossible to dance is still a good idea, claim promoters.
Promoters in numerous clubbing spots around the world have long maintained that using the “sardine technique” of packing as many people as they can into a tiny space is about creating a buzz in a club because it’s so packed with energy and people.
“It’s got everything to do with making sure there’s a good energy in the club and as many people are in as possible, sure some people might be overwhelmed by the press, have people stand on their feet and feel generally uneasy about being killed in a human crush but that’s just health and safety gone mad,” claimed club promoter Dillon Barnes from London. “Being unable to dance and almost killed is part of the fun and has nothing to do with us making as much money as we can and all about making the experience as good as possible.”
“How many people were at Nuremberg or the Sermon on the Mount fucking loads, that’s why they’re remembered. Betcha loads of people whined about not being able to see Christ or perform a Heil Hitler at the time but if you asked them now were they there they’d fucking gush all over you with how amazing it was,” he continued.
“If Hitler could have squeezed in a few more he would have, the more the merrier,” added Dillon. “I personally love it when I can’t even move my arms to dance, it’s not at all claustrophobic and annoying. If I’m lucky someone will spill a pint down the front of me and I’ll have a lovely stain with which to show people how ‘mad’ things got in the club.”
“People genuinely do enjoy feeling like they’re nothing more than so many bodies to be packed into a room like Tetris pieces,” he claimed while reaching to grasp at some straws hanging from the ceiling.
“I love nothing more than going into a nightclub to be jostled and have my space invading by people trying to get to the bar,” continued Dillon. “I think it’s spot on. I can never see the act or find space enough to move but I think the sheer number of people in the room adds to the buzz, and my door takings.”
“I was at a Nina Kraviz gig in Bristol recently and they packed about 500 people into a 350 capacity venue, two people fainted and I spent forty five minutes just trying to get to the bar,” he concluded. “There were so many people sweating on me and basically just bouncing off each other’s shoulders, it was like a collective wave of upturned spinning tops, just being dragged along with the human current, concerned only with getting out for air or living through the next ten seconds. What a night!”
