A party in Dublin, Ireland, has ended in disaster after three different people claimed ownership of a fifty euro note which was sitting on the kitchen table.
The note in question, a once crisp fifty, had been rolled into a cylinder and used to snort various powders off a mirror for a fifteen hour period prior to the ownership issues.
Mark Douglas, a twenty seven year old carpenter, claims the note was “defo his”, while Anthony Byrne and Steven O’Neill, both unemployed, we’re also “fairly certain” that the note belonged to them respectively.
“I can clearly remember coming in and putting my note on the table to do a few lines,” claimed Mr. Douglas angrily. “I don’t really remember much else after that. I know we definitely got more drugs, a shit load of cans and, I have a taste of pepperoni in my mouth so, I presume we got some pizza but I wouldn’t have paid for any of that with the table note. We needed that for taking drugs.”
Meanwhile Mr. Byrne insisted the note belonged to him, “I know it’s mine. It’s me last fifty so I’ve been keeping my eye on it all night. That’s supposed to pay for my taxi home and probably buy me a chinese to eat in bed and maybe even a breakfast roll in the morning if there’s change. I don’t know what Mark and Steo are talking about, they’re sneaky fuckers around here I’m telling you”
“Yeah it’s probably mine,” claimed Mr. O’Neill. “To be honest I didn’t think anyone else was taking it so I just tried to grab it, next of all every fucker in the room started shouting that it was theirs, I wouldn’t have touched it if I’d known there was gonna be so much hassle. I don’t really care either way, I just want to go home.”
According to sources within the party, a settlement was made and the three men grudgingly agreed to split the fifty euros evenly, however the agreement soon broke down after it became apparent that there was insufficient change available in the house to divide the money evenly.
