A pothead has been left feeling “utterly disappointed and let down” after smoking a full bottle of CBD oil last night.
Michael Smith, a thirty-six -year-old who should know better, claims he got “zero buzz” from the CBD oil and wouldn’t bother buying it again, unless he had no weed.
“Well the whole thing was a bit of a waste of time if I’m being honest with you,” Smith told us earlier. “It wasn’t bloody cheap either, I could have bought a couple of grams of lemon meringue kush for the same price I paid for that tiny little bottle, at least I know that would have got me baked.”
“I just couldn’t get any buzz of it all,” continued Smith. “Trying to roll spliffs with it was just a total nightmare. I know it’s oil and all but I wasn’t expecting it to be that wet. I mean, it’s cannabis, how the fuck are you supposed to smoke it if it’s a liquid? I may as well have been trying to skin up in a swimming pool, on acid. It just wasn’t happening.”
“I was determined to get it into me though so I tried ripping it in a bong and a pipe to but it was just a waste of time, eventually I managed to vape it but even though it tasted a bit weedy, it got me about as stoned as a shot of wheatgrass,” he claimed. “I even put it in my tea and in a batch of brownie mix and nothing, nada, not a single buzz. The last time I smoked something that shit was when I bought a lump of muck of a local dickhead when I was fifteen.”
“On the plus side, I’m feeling absolutely fantastic today,” revealed Smith. “I can’t quite put my finger on it but my mood is great, my psoriasis is clearer than ever, my bogey knee isn’t sore at all and I’m feeling a good bit less cancerey than usual.”
“Which is all well and good, but I’d rather be fucking stoned thank you very much.”