There were numerous reported sightings of neon garbed, dreadlocked crusties all over the capital yesterday as the nation’s Psytrance heads finally began to emerge from their winter slumber.
Prior to their reawakening, the perma-confused field pirates had parts of their brains reactivated before being ushered on to an awaiting ferry at their storage facility on Spike Island.
Upon landfall, some were left to wander aimlessly around Cork while the majority were bundled straight onto a Dublin bound express freight train to be inflicted upon the capital’s unsuspecting residents.
The unprecedented move was made as part of Life Festival’s drive to sell the final round of tickets in the weeks before the electronic music festival in Mullingar, according to Hipster High Council Ambassador to Ireland, Sway1. The Hipster High Council who own the exclusive rights to the nation’s Psytrance residents, made the decision in conjunction with the organisers of the country’s numerous summer music festivals following the freakishly good weather of late.
“Usually the sun doesn’t start to shine until the morning of Life Festival so they don’t usually get released until then. But with the recent sunny spells, we felt that it was the right decision to make,” said Shaun Darcy of Life Festival. “Whatever you think of Psytrance and it’s mad disciples, they mean one thing, festival season! And acid. Festivals and acid.”
Some observers have been quick to label it a cost saving measure however. With the cancellation of the annual 80,000 strong mass fight club, Oxegen, MCD have withdrew their monthly storage fee direct debit which accounted for the lion’s share of the storage costs.
The storage of hibernating Psytrance heads is a practice which has divided the half baked opinions of drugged up festival goers for almost twenty years. It began in the mid 90s when crusty numbers began to grow at an alarming rate. MCD boss Denis Desmond took responsibility for storage once the summer ended, as an alternative to controversial Government proposals for an annual cull.
As the popularity of Life Festival, which started as a Psytrance only event grew, storage was focused exclusively on Psytrance heads with traditional crusties sent down to Lahinch, Co Clare to see out the rest of the year in a semi-secure open facility of bushes and campfires.
The savings come full cycle for the discerning festival goer, with the social welfare payments of the detainees being put back into the operating costs of the various festivals. This results in savings of €20 or more per ticket which translates financially as 3 yellow lions, half a bag of ketamine or even a quarter of hash for anyone lucky enough to find some.
