Car manufacturers and analysts have decided to embark on a programme which will see the traditional car alarm siren being replaced by psytrance music.
Designers at the Mercedes plant in conjunction with scientists from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology have been working closely to attempt to find a sound that is more “piercing and grating than a normal siren.”
A spokesperson for Mercedes explained the reasoning behind the project, “We’d noticed that the regular siren wasn’t working as a strong enough deterrent for car thieves so we began the search to find a sound that is repulsive to the human ear. Thankfully with the help of our colleagues at MIT, we think psytrance music might just be distressing enough to fend off car thieves.”
Chief researcher behind the project, Dr. Thomas Muller, claimed that over the course of their research they tried out a host of sounds like cats dying, babies crying and fingernails being scraped down a blackboard but found that psytrance was “65% more annoying than all other possible aural frequencies.”
“With some of the milder sounds like the babies crying the test listeners would experience a shudder or a wince or mild pant wetting,” explained Dr. Muller, “but with psytrance the effects were more pronounced, with a small minority of people begging for us to either make it stop or to just kill them. Unfortunately one man took his own life rather than listen to anymore psytrance….Which was a promising result for the test.”
Dr. Muller went on to explain how in the initial stages they were hoping to recruit a well known psytrance musician to make the music for the alarm. “We then realised there was no such thing as a well known psytrance musician so we approached a number of psytrance musicians, all of whom rejected us. Thankfully though the music is so shit and mindless that even non-musicians like me can master it.”
this should have been brostep, not psytrance đ
Yeah cry more you psytrancefag.
blow me.
Sorry, I can’t. I don’t have a magnifying glass right now.
id like to think this ended with you too actually hooking up, getting over your differences and dating. guess im an old romantic
You guys like the EDM and Brostep rubbish, and you call Psytrance shit? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Fuck off
Why Psy Trance tho?
Is it just me or the guys running this website think that the only good electronic music is House and Techno? You never see them trolling about House/Techno.
Wouldn’t say that, Tech House gets a hard time too! Do a search on it through the website. Deep House gets rinsed a lot too…:)
Minimal Techno got some pretty hilarious posts, also tech and deep house.
The world would be a better place if Psy Trance was the car alarm!!
PSY TRANCE 4 EVER FUUUUUAAARRKKKK !!!
Maybe they should let the car thieves read your posts and bore them to death… seems a little more practical.
Psytrance to be replaced by generic, minimal offbeat techno by 2020. and it ain’t even satire
Don’t care what you say. Psytrance is awesome.
Got a good few chuckles out of me. Psytrance Forever!
psytrance FTW !!!!
at least all the tracks sound exactly the same, you can’t mistake with another style.
Dumb fuck get a life
“even non-musicians like me can master it.” LOOOOOL
plz share your music with us…for sure is some awesome shit ahahah get a life man..PLZ
Least mindless genre ever. Psytrance is all ABOUT mind.
If it’s true, I’ll start to break car glasses to enjoy that kind of chaos!
Party anytime!!
Woman of Alien
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