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R Kelly & Joseph Fritzl Release Duet ‘Trapped In The Basement’

R Kelly & Joseph Fritzl Release Duet ‘Trapped In The Basement’

Kidnap, psychological torture and sexual abuse enthusiasts R Kelly & Joseph Fritzl have today announced an upcoming musical collaboration aptly entitled “Trapped In The Basement”, a record both men claim comes directly from the heart and ‘draws on a wealth of personal experience.’

R&B Crooner Kelly said: “I’m delighted to be asked to feature on Fritzl’s debut record as I’ve been a fan of his work for quite some time now.”

“I’ve sung about many things in my day. Believing I could fly, wishing I could turn back time, fighting with midgets. You name it, I’ve ruined it through song. But the one topic I’ve never been able to sing about is the one closest to my heart, and that’s locking bitches up and getting laid!”

Fritzl, speaking from his jail cell, said: “R Kelly is somebody whom I’ve always admired. As you know, I’ve been trapped in my own personal closet since 2009, so his work has always resonated with me.”

“He’s a bit of a fucking nutter, and I like that.”

“Some singers are one-hit-wonders, but Kelly has had worldwide recognition for major sexual controversies and abuses of power on unwitting females for three decades in a row, and not many artists can claim that kind of continued success.”

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“Sure, his music is fucking tripe and he seems like a bit of cock, but at least you know where you stand with him.”

“And of course, he likes to lock people up in random locations around the house, which as you know, is my own particular vice.”

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