Raft Containing 200 Bedroom DJs Sinks Off The Coast Of Ibiza

A small raft crammed with approximately 200 bedroom DJ’s seeking a better life for themselves has sunk off the coast of Ibiza.

The bedroom DJ’s, most of whom had travelled long distances from places with little musical culture where they had little or no online following, had paid several thousand euros each to cross the Mediterranean Sea onto the promised land.

Darren Kinsley, a 24 year old “wizard on the belt-drives” claims he paid several hundred euros to renowned european traffickers Ryanair to escort him safely out of the UK undetected.

He complained to Wunderground that his journey across France and Spain had been “torturous” and that he was “forced to remain motionless, packed into extremely cramped and overcrowded spaces for hours on end, with little access to edible food or even a normal size can of coke” for the entirety of the flight.

Local lifeguard Pepe Consolas claimed “the boat capsized shortly after the dancing began, approximately around one hour into the journey.”

“Each DJ had stocked up on many cans of San Miguel and several bags of sniff each in Barcelona ahead of the long trip across the water. Spirits were high, as was the tide, and when one little guy up the front dropped “Strings Of Life” nobody stood a chance.”

“The boat was upside-down within seconds.”

“No fatalities were recorded thankfully. All 200 passengers were privately schooled and were strong swimmers, each one made it to Playa D’en Bossa beach in time for dinner.”

“But still, it’s terrible to think about the dangerous journeys and risks the young in our society must undertake simply to reach somewhere in the world they can be safe, prosperous and happy.”