An obnoxious randomer who blagged his way back to the house party is reportedly “not impressing anyone” with his constant bullshit despite the fact that he is being overly generous with his large bag of cocaine.
The man, who is yet to be named, reportedly entered the house after jumping into a taxi which was on its way to the party unbeknownst to the other passengers.
After admitting defeat, party host Martin Harran, told the randomer that he could come back to the party “for a while” but that “we’ll probably all be going to bed soon anyway.”
Once inside the party it is claimed that the unidentified man began acting boisterously annoying to other party guests who were reported to ask “who invited that random cunt?”
“No-one invited him, he just sort of appeared. Like AIDS in the 80s,” claimed Martin. “He’s always hanging around the same club nights as me and my friends and just worms his way into the group despite none of us wanting him near us. Sort of like AIDS in the 80s.”
After the stranger had helped himself to the whiskey and interrupted several conversations by farting loudly, Martin took him aside to ask him to leave but was stopped in his tracks when the man offered to share some of his big bag of cocaine.
“He’s obviously an idiot,” claimed Martin. “But if he’s giving everyone free cocaine then live and let live. Although I’ll still avoid engaging him in conversation. Well, conversations that don’t involve the exact phrase ‘do you want another bump of coke?'”
“He’s not welcome,” he added. “But his coke is.”
Martin claims that for the rest of the party himself and his friends will “just have to put up with obviously untrue stories about how the guy taught Kanye West how to fist bump, drank Sven Vath under the table and once beat Eric Cantona in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe.”
“I’m willing to put up with a lot of bullshit for the rest of the night,” concluded Martin. “Or for the rest of the coke.”
