Legendary 90s club brand Renaissance is set to enjoy it’s own Renaissance with tonight’s takeover of Ibiza superclub Eden, a club currently enjoying a Renaissance of its own.
Renaissance will wind back the clocks for the take over with appearances from three legends of the game, Dave Seaman, Darren Emerson and Danny Howells, now performing together under the moniker 3D.
“I’ve been a huge Renaissance fan ever since I made The Beach,” claimed Leonardo DiCaprio, an honorary Renaissance spokesperson. “We used to listen to those mixes all the time when we were shooting so when the guys asked me to come onboard as a brand ambassador I was only too happy to help.”
“At first, I thought they asked me because of my name,” continued DiCaprio. “You know, it sounds kind of Renaissancey, but then one of them asked me when I was going to start painting the ceiling in Eden, I think they actually think I’m Leonardo Da Vinci. Fuck it, the money they’re giving me is pretty good so I didn’t say anything.”
“I just hope they’re happy with matchstick men, I’ll tell them it’s some kind of neo-contemporary-pre-post-Renaissance-revival or some shit like that, nobody ever questions the crap artists come out with so I should be alright.”
According to sources in Ibiza, tonight’s Renaissance takeover will be the first of three in Eden this year and is expected to be an “absolute roadblock”.
“I’m really looking forward to Renaissance,” claimed one British tourist. “It’s just one of those things that’s on the bucket list. I’ve always been into the art and that and it’ll be great to see some of it in Eden, I’ve heard Michelangelo’s David is going to be there, which I’m really excited about.”
Reports suggest that rumours of Michelangelo’s David making an appearance in the club are false after Eden’s chief of security confirmed he would not get in unless he “put some bloody clothes on”.
If you would like to witness the Renaissance, Renaissance in a Renaissance, also known as Jonathan Ross’s worst nightmare, click here for tickets.