Urgent talks have been held between Ronald McDonald and the owners of Circo Loco following the recent ‘Killer Clown Craze’, which has been described as “extremely damaging” to both parties.
The recent trend of pranksters dressing up as clowns in a bid to scare the general public has seen an upturn in violent retaliations, with McDonald’s head honcho, Ronald, the latest victim of a “brutal attack” due to mistaken identity.
“I got my head kicked in last week during a children’s party,” Ronald told us sheepishly. “I was entertaining a group of kids, who were enjoying their happy meals and playing with their toys, when a lunatic stormed through the doors of the restaurant and laid into me. I tried explaining that I’m not a killer clown prankster and that this has been my look for the last fifty years but he wouldn’t have it. He called me a liar, a cunt, and told me to get out of town or he’d kill me and my family. It was terrifying. I had to call the police and everything.”
Wunderground asked Ronald what the upshot was following his meeting with Circo Loco, “It was positive but there’s still work to be done,” he confirmed. “Apparently, they have received threats to change their logo or risk people boycotting their events. People have always hated clowns, but were notoriously happy to keep away from us. This craze has given every nutter a platform to not only fight back, but attack innocent clowns while they are at it.”
“I spoke with Krusty the clown who lives in Springfield, America, last weekend, and he said fear has driven him to plastic surgery. He thinks he needs to disguise the person he is in order to survive. Nobody should have to live like this. Something needs to be done.”
