Leading experts from the Frampton Institute of Clinical Psychobabble have announced today that they may have located Benny Bennasi’s talent using the most advanced techniques in microscopy and genetics. And it seems it may actually exist…
Once referred to as the “Holy Grail” of EDM, the possibility of its existence has caused controversy amongst the entire community with most doubting its very existence while still others maintained that they had spotted it, usually on the night of a full moon, wailing on the moor.
“We’re extremely excited to confirm that we have indeed located the elusive Benassi talent particle,” confirmed a statement from the Frampton Institute’s head talent scout Dr. Phil Sagan. “We never thought we’d get to this point. Most people dismissed our attempts at proving that Benny Benassi’s talent existed as a fool’s errand, as fruitless as proving the existence of ghosts or Tony Blair’s conscience, but they were wrong.”
However not everyone remains convinced by the statements released by the Frampton Institute, with some fans dismissing the findings as outright lies or merely insufficient data.
“He’s shit,” claimed Dick McGee, a lifelong EDM fan. “It’s obvious from the fact that he has to have tits in his videos all the time. It’s the only reason people watch that shit. Slowly jingling, oiled and tanned tits. You could replace the ‘music’ in Bennasi’s videos with the sound of Cliff Richard’s entire back catalog being scraped out along a blackboard with rusty fingernails and it’d still get fifty million hits on Youtube.”
In spite of this skepticism scientists from the Frampton Institute claim to have irrefutable evidence that Mr. Benassi does in fact have talent. Dr. Phil Sagan showed us a blurry scan which used the most advanced microscope in existence, and we can confirm, there is at the very least, a single cell of Benny Bennasi’s which does indeed show an element of talent. However, upon closer inspection, it could just be a degenerative cellular disease.
We asked Benny himself to comment upon the matter, however his management informed us that he was busy with his casting director browsing a laminated catalog of breasts for the video for his new song. We asked did he mean “actors”, and his management confirmed that they did indeed mean “breasts.” We then asked what the new song is like, and if it will differ in tone to his previous work. They replied that the song does not yet exist, as Benny likes to cast the breasts in the video, and work back from there.
