The search for a missing TV remote has been called off tonight after it was recovered in a refrigerator belonging to the owner of the remote control, Jack Maynard. It is believed that the remote, which was missing for most of the afternoon, must have fallen into the rarely used vegetable drawer where it remained for several frantic hours.
Reports indicate that after leaving the room where he’d been eating ice-cream and watching stoner comedy, Super Troopers, Jack went to kitchen to get a drink for his “extremely dry” throat. When he returned to the living room it was only after 30 seconds of wondering where he’d been sitting before he left the room that he realised the remote control was nowhere to be seen.
“I pulled up the seat cushions on all of the couches,” explained Jack. “I found old coins, a pair of crusty socks and some batteries but there was no sign of the remote. I did find a burn hole down the side of the couch where a lit spliff must have rolled down. I was pretty pissed off about that until I found the spliff responsible. That was a sweet find.”
Jack went on to say that after smoking the drugs he realised that “the movie was almost over and I knew that I needed the remote if I wanted to find some other mindless entertainment to stare blankly at. At that point I got mildly irritated.”
Jack did the only sensible thing he could do in the situation and immediately gave up looking for the remote and started changing the channel manually using the buttons on the side of the television.
“I found an episode of Storage Wars and forgot all about the missing remote,” admitted Jack. “It was only about three hours later when my roommate laughingly threw the remote onto my lap and said he’d found it in the fridge that I even remembered it had been missing.”
Jack and the remote control are reportedly ecstatic to have been reunited with Jack going so far as to enthusiastically tell concerned reporters, “This is pretty good. It means I won’t have to get up from my chair to change the channel anymore.”
