A young fictitious everyman today released a statement indicating that the sex he has had with numerous ex-girlfriends still forms the basis of his current stock of “wank material”.
Daniel Gordon claimed that he regularly fantasises about sex that he used to have with women he was involved with as far back as his first sexual encounters as a teenager. “There’s definitely ones from my teenage years that crop up on the regular,” explained 27 year old Daniel.
“There are some that are from the more recent past, but still quite a while ago from my college era that I think about every now and again. A lot of the times I won’t really remember their names or how I met them. It’ll just be the sex that stands out.”
Daniel claims that he is not alone in masturbating about ex-girlfriends and points to scientific research which indicates that “every man who has ever had sex with a woman will definitely, at some point in the future, play that scenario back out in his head while masturbating”.
The young fictional construct continued by saying that he didn’t believe that his sexual objectification of women was offensive as it only occurs in his own head and in some stories that he shares with close male friends, but that if women did know they would be pleased by reasoning that “the only thing worse than being wanked about, is not being wanked about” and that “everybody more than likely wanks about everyone else”.
“Often I’ll fantasise about women I don’t like very much and who I probably wouldn’t have time for if I met them again,” continued Daniel. “Weirdly those are ones that give me the strongest orgasms.”
Daniel claimed that the girl who he is currently seeing satisfies his every whim in the bedroom, but that in spite of this he still won’t be able to fully appreciate the sex until he replays it in his head after they break up.
“A lot of the scenarios that I play out are ones that I never fully appreciated at the time because I was too busy wanking about the girls who had gone before,” explained Daniel. “I almost never fantasise about current girlfriends. That’s like day dreaming about getting a lovely cake while eating a lovely cake.”
“I expect that when I’m finished with my current girlfriend I’ll wistfully remember the sex we had more and more,” concluded Daniel. “She’ll probably be top of the wank bank table for a few months and will feature heavily when I masturbate.”
“I wouldn’t say it’s better than the real thing, but it’s definitely more real and slightly better, it’s like a porno in your head,” he added.
