Shouting drunk abuse at people in the streets has been declared the official number one pastime of all local knobheads.
The news was announced at this week’s annual Knobheads Convention which takes place at David Guetta’s F*** Me I’m Famous closing party in Ibiza.
“It’s a real pleasure to host the tenth annual Knobheads Convention at my closing party,” gushed Guetta earlier today. “Like all of my shows in Ibiza, it’s a great chance for knobheads from all over the world to get together and be total cunts to each other but we really save the best of the knobheaderey for the closing party, it’s known for being the biggest global collection of knobheads since the collapse of the Nazi party.”
“Every year at the F*** Me I’m Famous closing party we point out all of the latest trends and activities in the knobhead community,” revealed the Frenchman who was recently voted the world’s biggest knobhead for the eighth consecutive year. “This year the big movers in trends were man bags, shin high white socks and snap back caps while shouting drunk abuse at people in the street has replaced farting in lifts as the activity of choice for knobheads.”
Local knobhead, Adrian Lewis, has outlined his excitement at the prospect of returning to Kidderminster, England, after two weeks in Ibiza to try out the latest knobhead craze.
“I’ve always thought that I’m very current as a knobhead,” explained Adrian, who was wearing shin high white socks, a man bag and a snapback cap. “Obviously I’m well up on the trends but I’ve been lagging in the activity department this year. I was expecting it to be something like stealing from the elderly or public masturbation, I never imagined it would be shouting drunk abuse at random people in the street.”
“I always just thought that was something that normal people did,” continued Mr. Lewis. “I‘m sure I’ve seen lots of people doing it but maybe there’s just far more knobheads in the world than I thought. I’m going to start shouting abuse at people straight away, all I’ll have to do is have another drink, although good knobheads probably don’t even need to be that drunk. You stupid prick!”
According to the convention’s announcement, other activities that will be popular with knobheads over the next twelve months include; kicking small animals, leaving chewing gum on bus seats and pissing on shop fronts after nights out.
