A man at a rave has been overheard muttering to his friend that “smoking is disgusting”, despite swallowing his third pill in as many hours.
Thirty one year old, Nathan Woodhouse, from Manchester, is said to have been “screwfacing” a group of girls who stood near him while dancing, who all happened to be smoking, referring to them as “fucking grim” and “smelly trolls”.
“That bloke was right up his own arse,” announced twenty eight year old avid smoker, Nina Simpson. “It was an open air rave so I can’t work out what his problem was. Everyone there was getting on it and having a good time; yet he took offence to a few of us smoking cigarettes. The bloke was literally chewing his own face off. His jaw was going ten to the dozen and it looked like someone had thrown a bucket of water over him, he was sweating that much. Yet we are the disgusting ones? Righto, lad. I saw him slag us off to his mate; give us a dirty look and then slope off. What a prick.”
Wunderground caught up with Nathan to find out what his problem with smoking is, “It’s grim and makes girls ugly,” he yelled. “You could have a ten out of ten walk past, but if she smokes, she instantly becomes a three. I’m extremely open minded and don’t care if people want to take pills, MD, ket, charlie, poppers or any other party drug but not smoking. It fucking reeks, mate. It gives you bad breath, yellow teeth and the smell stays in your hair and clothes until the end of time. Plus, that shit will fucking kill you. Only idiots smoke.”
