A woman who has been overheard boasting about having never taken drugs in her life, even though everybody around her has, at one stage, fallen into the “dangerous drug lifestyle”, has been revealed as a “boring cunt” by friends.
Thirty six year old Sarah Johnson, who was onto her ninth large glass of Pinot on a Wednesday night, in local pub The Fox and Hound, is said to have “turned her nose up” when offered a “livener” by a man on the fruit machine.
“She was being really loud and slurring all of her words,” said twenty nine year old friend Annabel Partridge. “This bloke who we’ve seen around but never really talk to asked her if she fancied a bit of his gear to sober her up a bit. She went right off the handle, accusing him of wanting to spike her so he could take her home and rape her. Then she started criticizing drugs, suggesting anybody who takes them is a fool and needs to sort their life out.”
“She’s honestly such a preachy cunt at times,” continued Annabel. “All she was rambling on about was how she doesn’t need drugs as she’s whacky enough and how people who do take cocaine will eventually end up in the gutter. She then fell off of her stool and was asked to leave the pub by the landlord.”
Wunderground caught up with Sarah regarding her outburst, “I’ve never taken drugs, never been to a rave and never been to a nightclub,” she told us in an elitist manner. “I simply don’t need those things in my life as they are for degenerates. I like drinking wine, eating cheese and reading books, like real people do.”