Solomun Splits Global Underground Mix In Two In Accordance With Biblical Legend
Solomun, the main house music mogul from Bosnia and Herzegovina (in fact, the only house music mogul from Bosnia and Herzegovina), has today announced that his latest Global Underground mix will be split in two to adhere to the ancient biblical legend in which he split a baby in two to settle a dispute.
The Diynamic king explained how he has spent weeks searching through his record collection, or what he refers to as his “mines”, to find just the right tracks to spin for this collection.
Renowned for his “deep, ultra funky house” and also his transcendent esoteric wisdom, he made the decision to split the mix in two when two representatives from GU came to him both professing undying love for his latest mix.
Solomun decided that the only way to find out which person loved the mix more was to split it in two and release it in two parts on two separate CDs. One representative happily agreed, as they felt that Global Underground would make more money this way but the other was unhappy with this decision as they felt it interfered with the flow of the mix.
Solomun took this as a sign from the Gods of EDM, Phil and Paul Hartnoll, that the representative who chose to leave the mix uncut was the one who indeed loved his mix the most. He then banished the representative who wanted to cut it in two into a land of Feuer und Eis and declared him to be a Kackvogel, which we believe to be some kind of shitbread.
Solomun made the professorial statement earlier today that, “If one loves music, then let music be your love. Do not taint it with shekels. Like a trader at the temple, know that you stand before me in my house as an equal to everyone, and no amount of gold can make a mix dazzle.”
However, the heads of Global Underground have decided to split the mix onto two CDs anyway, citing a lack of space on each CD and money as the reasons.
Solomun has responded by promising that he will sit down half way through every set for the next year for roughly the amount of time it takes to change a CD, in the hope that his message will be heard. He claims he will use this time to “meditate on the unity of all things that exist. All things, except of course this mix CD which has unfortunately been split in two.”