According to the International Standards Institution of Songs, or ISIS, songs with words in them are now officially for girls.
The announcement was made late yesterday evening at the ISIS Annual General Meeting, held in Disneyland, Florida.
ISIS spokesperson, and singer of girl’s music, Donna Bissett, spoke to Wunderground earlier today, “After a long, drawn out debate, heated discussion and extremely close vote, we have officially decided to declare that songs with words in them are exclusively for girls.”
“With the exception of dance music with incomprehensible vocals, all music that contains words will now only be available for sale to women,” continued Bissett. “And from this day forward men will no longer be allowed to record music that contains words, but will be allowed to have female vocalists appear on their tracks.”
The news will be well received in schoolyards all over the world, where songs with words in them have long been considered to be for girls only.
Michael Behan (11) also spoke to Wunderground, “I’ve been telling people that songs with words in them are for girls since I was nine and a half, and I’m eleven and one sixth now so that’s been for years. It’s obvious when you hear them, music shouldn’t be about making you think, not for boys anyway. Feelings and all that rubbish are just for girls, I don’t want to be listening to songs like that, I just want to be listening to songs that make me jump around my bedroom like a lunatic.”
The latest reports from within the ISIS AGM suggest that rap music will be exempt for today’s ruling, although from now on it will only be accessible to middle class, white men and women.
