A Vinyl snob has insisted that the only thing he prefers to listen to over the sound of vinyl, is the sound of his own voice talking about vinyl.
Presley Nantwich, a local bellend, claims that he could easily listen to himself talking about vinyl for hours on end and admitted that he often records himself and listens back to his opinions at a later date.
“Well, it’s not only that I’m extremely well informed when it comes to vinyl and what sort of music you should be listening to on vinyl, but the tone of my voice is also extremely warm and soft, which makes me very easy on the ear,” he explained earlier. “If I was to pick my favourite sound, it would be my own voice, followed closely by vinyl.”
“Sometimes, I’ll think of something really clever to say about vinyl and there’ll be no one around to hear it so I’ll just whip my phone out and record it here and then,” continued Nantwich while gripping his chin, which seemed to be unnaturally elongated from years of excessive stroking. “That way, I can listen back to it later and tell my friends all about it.”
“Although, to be honest with you, it kind of breaks my heart having to listen back to it on something with a sound as primitive as a phone,” claimed the vinyl enthusiast. “My goal is eventually to get the sound of my own voice pressed onto vinyl, my life would pretty much be complete if I can manage that.”
According to Alice, Mr Nantwich’s long term girlfriend, her partner is an “absolute melter” when it comes to talking about vinyl.
“I don’t know what it is, but every time he opens his mouth to talk about vinyl, I just want to kill him, or myself,” she told Wunderground. “It reminds me of being back in school, but not in an informative or helpful kind of way, in a patronising and condescending kind of way.”
“I normally just leave him to it, zone out and think about Jason Momoa rescuing me from some kind of sexy hostage situation.”
