EDM jester Steve Aoki has reportedly suffered third degree burns to his hands after attempting to throw hot pancakes at a group of unsuspecting passersby in a London shopping center.
Aoki was believed to be in London finalising a summer residency with representatives from Ibizan club Pacha when he vaulted the counter of a pop-up pancake stall and attempted to grab the flat batter cake straight from a hot plate.
One eyewitness explained his view on the events, “I was just after buying a lovely pancake to celebrate pancake day, just a little squirt of lemon and sugar for me, I’m not into any of that fancy modern stuff like strawberries or chocolate.”
“Next thing some crazy long haired bloke dives over the counter and starts grabbing at the hot plate,” continued the source. “Judging by the screams he must have put his hands straight onto it, you could actually smell the flesh cooking, it was kind of like bacon and actually gave me a bit of an appetite, I just wasn’t satisfied after the pancake so I went and got a bacon sarnie.”
According to Tim Baker, the pancake stall attendant, the hot plate was working off a temperature “in and around two hundred degrees celsius”.
“His hands must be fucked,” claimed Baker. “I got a couple of nasty burns on my arms and I only glanced the hot plate but that clown actually had both hands flat on it. He must be thick as a bundle of planks because he didn’t even notice the pain straight away, his hands had actually fused themselves to the plate before he started to scream.”
“I had to physically pull him off the hot plate before he jumped over counter screaming and dived straight into the fountain across the way,” continued the unperturbed pancake chef. “Serves the prick right, the next five or six pancakes I made had little bits of his hands in them and I had to sell them for half price.”
Aoki’s luck didn’t get any better after charity workers accused the Miami born producer of attempting to steal pennies from the “wishing fountain” and verbally and physically assaulting them before security staff arrived on the scene.
Aoki’s management also commented on this afternoon’s events, “Steve is in a stable condition, his hands are pretty badly burned but he’s rich so he’ll be OK.”
“Although he said he’s going to stop throwing cakes, it’s just in his nature and he finds it very hard to pass up any cake throwing opportunity. We’d like to apologise on his behalf to anyone who was affected by today’s incident in the mall.”
