Stevie Wonder Can’t See Anything To Like About EDM

Stevie Wonder has today sent shockwaves through the international music community, with many of the world’s most ardent EDM supporters such as Tiesto, Ferry Corsten and Katy Perry visibly annoyed when questioned about the incident this morning, with most gritting their teeth and shaking their fists angrily at reporters. Madonna at one point took to Twitter, calling for “that silly bastard’s head on a platter”.

Believed to be fully supportive of the EDM movement following his recent performance at the Grammy’s with French duo Daft Punk, the Songs In The Key Of Life singer this morning blasted the genre in an interview with The New York Times. When asked about his connections to the recent EDM explosion and what he thought about the recent fuss over the genre, Stevie replied “I just can’t see it”.

This is not the first time Stevie has caused such controversy, back in 1982 Stevie was found dressed in a long dark jacket, not looking too dissimilar to that of a bat, having spent close to an hour “flying around” a dark room backstage, crashing into furniture and tearing pictures off the walls in what some critics at the time seen as an angry protest towards Ozzys Osbourne’s bat-biting antics on stage the week before, as well as a general condemnation of the Rock & Roll movement of the day at large.

Jeremy Jones, a bedroom DJ and fast food enthusiast from Connecticut, USA, has today filed a lawsuit against the singer off the back of this morning’s comments in The New York Times, following an incident that happened two years ago at the burger lover cum DJ’s primary residence. Mr Jones, while recording a groundbreaking EDM set in his bedroom for his weekly podcast to three devout subscribers, was most rudely interrupted when Mr. Wonder crashed through the side wall of Mr. Jones bedroom in a luxury 32ft speedboat, some 70 miles inland.

“At the time, I assumed it was an honest mistake” stated Mr. Jones. “I mean, we all get lost every now and then. I can’t count the amount of times I’ve left for Burger King and instead ended up in a Wendy’s, so I got it straight away. Once the damage was paid for and my two belt-drives replaced, I was happy. But today I realize it must have been some sort of vigilante save-the-whales type campaign against EDM. Everybody wants to be a fucking Bono these days!”

When asked to comment on the interview in this mornings New York Times Stevie declined to comment, claiming he “wasn’t arsed” reading it. The case continues…