Today: February 3, 2026
October 10, 2015
1 min read

Successful Drug Dealer Looking To Sell Advertising Space On Baggies

A successful drug dealer from Wichita, Kansas, has apparently approached a number of advertisement agencies about selling advertising space on the baggies he uses to package his product.

Lil’ Jonesy, real name Marvin Jones, claims to sell approximately three hundred bags of drugs a day, including crack, crystal meth and weed all of which are packaged in baggies, on his patch which encompasses eight corners in Wichita’s Plainview neighborhood.

“I’m slinging three hundred sacks a day, that’s over two thousand baggies being distributed in Wichita every week,” claimed Jones during a chat with Wunderground. “I’m seeing my baggies pop up everywhere from Orchard Park to Northeast Heights to Riverside so I’m literally covering the entire city.”

“I’ve had some pretty productive chats with a couple of agencies and it looks like I’ve got a couple of hot leads with a few of the local fast food joints,” continued Jones. “Subway are gonna turn my weed baggies into a ‘free soda with a foot long’ voucher so once you’ve smoked your pot and you get the munchies you can go to Subway and drink for free, ain’t nobody else doing this shit in Wichita.”

“It’s not as easy selling the space on crack and crystal meth baggies because junkies, by nature, don’t have as much disposable income as potheads and they sure as shit ain’t interested in buying no foot longs from Subway,” insisted the drug dealer. “There are still a few places showing some interest though, an affordable teeth whitening product and a couple of pharmaceutical companies have been checking us out.”

“I’m also getting some loyalty cards made up for all of my regular customers,” revealed Adams, “Usually, dealers give the first hit free to try entice people into buying more drugs but I’m not down with that, lots of people try stuff once and then never come back, I’m gonna give all of my customers their tenth hit free, that way if they only try it once I’ve still get their money and if they buy from me nine times that free hit’s already paid for itself.”

According to unconfirmed reports from Wichita, Mr. Jones’s drug empire could be in jeopardy after he was headhunted and offered a lucrative contract, believed to be worth six figures, by the multinational banking and financial services holding company JPMorgan Chase & Co.

Previous Story

Hot Chip Burns Lip

Next Story

English Drug Dealers Introduce 5p Baggie Levy

Latest from Blog

DJ kink adds air fryer to studio setup

Kink Adds Airfryer To Live Setup

Much-loved Bulgarian House & Techno act, Kink, has this weekend added a Bosch Air Fryer to his live setup. “I fucking love it!” said KINK. “You can literally do anything with this