The Taiwanese water supply is now believed to be the only place on Earth where people can find any good quality ketamine.
In recent weeks there has been a sustained media focus on the amount of illicit drugs contaminating the Taiwanese water supply causing ket-heads to view it as a potential source of “shardy tremble powder” in this most recent ket drought.
The announcement has seen an increased number of “drug tourists”, mostly coming from Britain and Ireland, making their way to the small Chinese controlled island under the false pretense of “culture and that”.
Taiwanese officials have warned Westerners against traveling to the island for the purpose of buying drugs, indicating their strict drug policies, which in extreme cases can lead to the death penalty, as a deterrent to would-be drug traffickers.
Paul Neill, a mid level drug dealer and semi-professional Xbox user from Birmingham, England, is planning on making the trip to secure some quality product, he spoke to Wunderground earlier.
“There’s no good ket around here these days, I sniffed a whole gram in one go the other day and I barely even got a shudder off it, never mind a wobble,” scoffed Paul. “I heard they’ve got proper ket in the water over in Taiwan so I decided I’d take a trip over and stock up.”
“I’ve never drank ket before but it has to be better than the weak stuff here or the beer in a typical Wetherspoons,” he explained.
“I didn’t even know where Taiwan was before I heard about the ket in the water,” he continued. “I always just assumed it was the name of a Nike factory, because I always see it on the labels of my trackies, or one of those made up places for kid’s stories like Timbuktu, Madagascar or the Netherlands.”
Reports from the Taiwanese capital Taipei indicate that an increasingly large group of “pale skinned imperial western scum” have been seen hanging around the city’s docklands, some of whom have been spotted throwing large quantities of cash into the water.
So far no foreigners have been arrested in Taiwan for drug related offenses as tourists have been having difficulty finding any Taiwanese water prepared to sell them any ket, mostly because it’s water and is incapable of building relationships with people or making transactions.
There has however been a number of people removed from the water by the Coastguard after swimming in shipping channels with a small number of these people being hospitalised after swallowing contaminated sea water.
“Ironically enough, the quantity of ketamine in the water is so minuscule that they won’t feel any effects,” explained the doctor treating the morons. “Although, sea water is known to cause LSD like hallucinations when drunk so they’ll at least have had some sort of buzz.”
Subsequent reports from the city suggest that the number of people hospitalised from drinking sea water is multiplying as stupid people in search for reckless fun realise it causes them to “trip balls” and drink it in large amounts.
