A techno themed wedding in a Berlin nightclub was categorically ruined after the best man used a pre recorded speech during the ceremony.
Newly weds, Hans and Lina, are believed to be devastated after the groom’s brother, Michael, played his pre recorded speech over the venue’s P.A. system. Bridesmaid, Veronika, had this to say. “It was such a beautiful ceremony. They were married in the DJ Box of their favourite nightclub by an ordained DJ. It really was the perfect wedding for Hans and Lina.”
“We’d just finished our meal, of pills, coke, ketamine and Jagermeister when Michael got up to make his speech,” explained Veronika. “He stood up, tapped the key he had been sniffing his drugs of of his glass to get the crowds attention and then instead of talking a pre recorded speech started to play out of the speakers. It was horrible, poor Lina is distraught, he couldn’t have insulted her more if he’d shit on her hairdo and wiped his ass on her dress.”
“I know he listens to commercial music and he’s not really into techno but he should have known that pre recordings aren’t cool, he cleared the room like a fart in a lift or a David Guetta DJ set in Berghain,” she tearfully recounted. “The wedding was totally ruined.”
“I feel so sorry for the couple and I just hope their two month honeymoon in Ibiza will do enough neurological damage to their brains to wipe the memories of the day from all existence.”
Michael has since revealed that the pre recorded speech was meant to be a joke and claims that, “Techno fans take everything techno related far too seriously.”
