A secret society responsible for creating a whole new coded language, designed for youngsters trying to fool their parents, has revealed the word “travelling” actually means “six months on booze and drugs”, causing huge problems for a large percentage of eighteen to twenty three year olds across the UK.
Leaked by society chief, Isaac Carmichael, the revelation is said to have “shocked and saddened” a number of parents who assumed their child was taking six months out to “see the world”, rather than go and get “fucked up” on another continent.
“This is really bad,” claimed twenty one year old Londoner Craig Doherty, currently in Australia. “Those wankers never told us they’d release the code to our parents or girlfriends. I’m going to be in all sorts of trouble when I get home. Mum thinks I’ve come out here to become culturally inspired and gain life experience. Little does she know I was so high on opium and marijuana last week that I was found by locals, out of my nut, asking for directions to Ramsay Street because I wanted to have a chat with Lou Caprenter about getting a job at Lassiter’s.”
Wunderground spoke with Isaac to ask what prompted giving the game away, “We felt it was the right time to make people aware of the code,” he confirmed. “We don’t owe anybody anything we’re happy to publicise more should we hear moans. People need to be prepared for anarchy, we want to see the world burn. This threat isn’t just aimed at kids taking advantage of their parents but also at men lying to their girlfriends and employees fooling their managers. They’re all in for it.”
Whilst Isaac refused to confirm any further code for now, he did imply “going out for one”, “she’s bubbly”, “have you lost weight”, “I’ll be five minutes” and “I like my job” are all on the verge of having their true meanings revealed.
