Berlin superclub Tresor today announced the opening of a second location catered exclusively towards the British clubbing tourist entitled Trevor.
The new night, a bid to capitalise on the amount of Brits flying to Berlin on clubbing holidays each year, will open sometime later in the summer in a new location as yet to be disclosed.
“There’ll be warm beer with cricket on the lawns, Premier League football on the telly and the bangingest of banging beats playing 24 hours a day,” explained Trevor promoter, British ex-pat Simon Curtis. “It’ll be like Wetherspoons except we won’t serve watered piss and there’ll be techno music.”
The new super club will be open 24/7 with each night being devoted to a different distinctly British style of dance music ranging from dubstep and big beat to drum & bass and hard house.
“You’ll have to prove your Britishness upon entry,” explained Simon, “through a few simple tests covering things like your knowledge of London street slang irrespective of whereabouts in the UK you’re from, telling a joke in which either the Welsh and/or Irish are the butt, downing a pint of cider in under 10 seconds and over-inflating England’s chances of World Cup success.”
“The test will be the same for people from all parts of the British Isles with an added proviso that they all moan about how expensive, big and cold London is,” added Simon.
The line up for the grand opening of Trevor has not been officially announced yet but rumours suggest that it includes British stalwarts like Huxley, British Murder Boys, Dave Clarke, Chaz & Dave, James Corden and Deirdre & Gail from Coronation Street going back to back.
“I’m really excited to get started, it’s going to be wicked,” concluded Simon. “Everything is ready to go, including the logo which is the epitome of the British clubbing experience – a hungover man in a grubby t-shirt with his head in his hands drinking sugary tea and eating a fried breakfast. Standard.”
Jolly Good!