Underground Festival To Trial Pills As Currency
An underground festival set to take place in the Dutch countryside later this summer is rumoured to be trialing pills as currency.
Organisers of the Rocking River Rave, held at a secret location on the banks of the Rhine, believe that a festival where everyone is on pills is both safer for guests and easier to run for organisers.
“We’ve been running underground festivals for a long time now and it’s safe to say that people who are on pills are a hell of a lot easier to deal with than people who are not,” explained project manager Nick de Wiel. “So, for this year’s Rocking River Rave we’ve decided to make the festival completely cash free and trial pills as an onsite currency.”
“We’ve given this year’s security contract to a well known, Amsterdam based criminal gang, who will not only supply the pills but also make sure that everyone who wants to gain entry to the festival site buys some on their way in,” continued de Weil. “We’ll be using a custom made stamp on the pills, probably a dollar sign, to make sure there is no counterfeit currency in rotation.”
“You’ll be able to buy everything on site with the pills,” confirmed de Weil. “Although, we’ve significantly reduced the number of stalls at this year’s festival. We’ve gone BYOB and we don’t predict much demand for food this year so all that will be available to buy is pills and currency, which, in reality, means you’ll just be swapping pills for more pills. We’re also encouraging everyone on site to use a barter system when exchanging anything with other guests. Anyone seen using actual money will be asked to leave the festival site.”
According to festival organisers, a pill value guide will be distributed to guests upon entry to the festival and will include a Recommended Retail Price for anything they predict will be available for barter on site. Price list includes, 1 gram of weed = 2 pills, 3 cans of lager = 1 pill and 1 gram of high quality Colombian cocaine = 20 pills.