Free Skrillex Track Still Too Expensive
According to consumers, a recently released free track by Skrillex is still “way too expensive”.
The track, Show Me Love, was released as part of a collection of tracks by artists due to play at Form Festival in Arcosanti, Arizona, later this summer.
However, most people who downloaded the track felt “a little short changed” after listening to it later that day.
“Well, that free Skrillex track is officially the most overpriced thing in the history of capitalism,” claimed skeptic Jon Mitchell, “and that’s coming from me, a guy who once bought fresh country air on eBay. It might have been free but with all things taken into account, like my internet bill, electricity bill and the cost of my laptop it’s probably cost me a couple of cents to get my hands on it. There’s no way it’s worth that, it’s daylight robbery.”
According to experts, the presence of artists like Bonobo, whose music doesn’t sound like “a malfunctioning robot drowning in a rancid mix of battery acid and piss”, on the playlist cheapens Skrillex’s already cheap sound.
“Sonny’s a nice guy but, unfortunately for him, his music is shit,” explained the newly appointed Music Ombudsman, Danny Tenaglia. “He was a post-hardcore emo kid, or ‘shithead’ as we used to call them in my day, from California so I suppose his music was never going to groundbreaking. At least he eventually moved away from the whiney band shit he was doing and made some forgettable EDM.”
“You only really notice how bad he is when you hear him alongside some credible artists,” continued Tenaglia. “You could probably see Skirillex at an average EDM festival and think to yourself ‘this guy’s actually not as shit as I thought he was’, don’t get me wrong, he’d still be shit, but compared to all the other chumps on the line-up he’d be the least shittiest of an extremely shitty bunch but, on this playlist, his true sound really sounds. I guess the shit always floats to the top.”
According to Skrillex’s management, the producer is willing to offer a full refund to anyone who downloaded the track for free and will also offer a “considerable compensation package” for anyone whose life has been negatively affected by listening to it.