A vinyl snob is taking his snobbiness to the next level by refusing to order anything other than a
Alan Lombardi, who has mixed Scottish and Italian heritage, claims that there are many similarities between pizza and vinyl and that if you don’t already know them, then you probably shouldn’t have anything to do with either.
“I’d never buy a vinyl that was any smaller than a twelve
“There’s so much shit currently floating around the pizza market, you can hardly move without seeing some other bozo opening a shit pizzeria. Honestly, you see all of this Dominos crap? It tastes like soot in my mouth. If it’s not a twelve inch Neopolitan style pizza with fresh ingredients, you can send it back to whatever shit hole it came from,” he explained while using over the top hand gestures. “And the same goes for music, if it’s not pressed on a twelve inch vinyl, I don’t want to hear it.”
According to Mr Lombardi’s long term partner, Wendy, having a relationship with someone who is so snobby about music and food was a bit of a turn on at first but has since turned into a “right pain in the tit”.
“I’ll not lie to you, you see when he used to scream and shout at waiters for bringing out pizzas that were slightly too big or small, I was so turned on, I’d have to physically stop myself from jumping over the table and riding him like a pony here and then,” she told Wunderground. “It was the same when we were in nightclubs and he’d stand in front of the DJ box, yelling at the DJ for using CDs. I don’t think I’ve ever been attracted to anyone as much as I was then.”
“But, after fifteen years, it all kind of gets a bit boring,” admitted Wendy. “Don’t get me wrong, I still love him, but see when he has a go at a waiter or a DJ now, I don’t want to ride him anymore, I want to kill him. Like, why are we still going to these places when he knows full well what to expect. He’s just a snob for the sake of being a snob now, he’s banned from practically every Dominos in Scotland.”
