“Walt Disney™ Invented Ears,” Claims Lawyer Ahead Of Deadmau5 Court Case

Famed for inventing princesses™, patriarchy™, fairy tales™, latent racism™ and the very idea of cartoons™ themselves, a lawyer for the Disney™ company now claims that he actually invented the very concept of ears™, and more specifically, rodent ears™.

The court case which will see the friendly and fun Disney Corporation™ sue Deadmau5 for copyright infringement™ over the supposed likeness between the headgear he wears at gigs and the now infamous head of Mickey Mouse™.

A startling new piece of video evidence has been unearthed, in the form of an interview with Walt Disney™ himself from the late Mesozoic era where he carefully outlays his plans for adding ears™ to every rodent in existence.

The interview has sparked debates between evolutionists and creationists, with creationists citing it as certain proof of intelligent design.  However, evolutionists have laughed off such claims, citing Walt Disney’s™ lack of intelligence as their counter argument.

This video evidence has left Deadmau5 shaken, as it may undermine his claims of fair usage of the iconic shapes, in much the same way as Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” undermines her claims that she is an “artist”.

The interview is said also to prove that Walt Disney™ invented the circle™, of which there are two on Deadmau5’s head, which possibly means he may be sued twice by the kind and lovingly litigious corporation.

The case may be settled out of court if Deadmau5 (real name Joel Thomas Zimmerman) agrees to star in a biopic which charts Mickey Mouse’s™ rise to power, which will see him battle with heroin addiction™, a torrid love affair with Minnie™, who begins the story as a lowly prostitute working for a greedy and violent pimp (which many believe is based up on Walt Disney™ himself), and the pressures of fame ™ while trying to get over his childhood trauma of being a lab rat for Pfizer™.

The biopic is being shot under the provisional title of “Mickey: In Your Face” and is due out late next year.

Deadmau5 is yet to agree to the role, however he’d consider it if “enough chedda was thrown my way”, a quote which shows him living up to his name.

He says his fears are “that Disney™ own most of the money™ in the world and can sue me for eternity ™ if they wish.”

“I don’t want to end up locked in the dungeon under the magic castle in Disney World™,” he said in an interview today.  “I hear that’s where they keep all the alternative endings, fairy dust and bold children.”