Wetherspoons announced earlier today that they will be investing in many of the disused pound stores and abandoned night clubs in Dalston over the next twelve months with plans to open an additional fourteen branches of their affordably populist, liver battering social spots “purely for the sake of shits and giggles”.
Wunderground caught up with Sam Adams, head of Wetherspoons public relations, for more details on the clearly antagonistic move.
“It’s basically a victory lap of sorts.” Explained Mr Adams whilst sat in the chair getting a tattoo of a man alarmingly similar to 90s panto-villain Cyril Sneer.
“As most people know our support of Brexit was fairly well documented and we received a lot of flak for it, particularly from bearded, lefty types who claim they work as artists but actually do graphic design for corporate pharmaceutical companies or work in cafes.”
“Obviously we Brexiteers won that little squabble and, indignant as all the Remainers might be, the majority of them still walk through our doors on a daily basis to drop a few quid on our extensive range of gin, bourbon and craft ales. We are bloody caking it in!” he continued whilst paying the short sighted tattooist in chocolate coins.
“What with the pound currently being worth less than a Rustlers Burger at Wilderness Festival we decided that instead of expanding the Wetherspoons empire further afield we may as well just stick a shitload more pubs in and around East London.”
“There’s a tons of ale aficionados around there, they all have seemingly bottomless pits of disposable income and claim they hate us but are obviously morally unscrupulous when it comes to getting bollocksed on a budget so it’s essentially the perfect storm, and if they don’t like it I’m sure they’ll all get great satisfaction bitching about it on social media via our free Wi-Fi service.”
