A man who recently emerged from an abyss like K hole has been left wondering where everyone else has gone, despite the fact that the number of people in the room had not changed.
Paul Warren, twenty six, is reported to have sniffed a “tonking line” of “proper proper” before slipping into the depths of the drug induced chasm.
“I remember taking the line and thinking ‘that’s probably a little too big’ to myself,” explained a semi-coherent Mr. Warren moments after regaining consciousness. “After that it’s all a little bit blurry, I remember stacks of giant Lego pieces landing in rectangular patterns all around me, sitting on the rafters of a skyscraper and there being lots and lots of people in this room.”
“Then, when I came too, it was just me, Jimmy, Si and Rasher,” continued the confused drug user. “I could of sworn there were about twenty five people here five minutes ago and I’m pretty sure I was definitely copping off with some tasty little treacle from around the corner but when I asked the lads where she’d gone they just burst out laughing and told me Si’s dog had been licking my face while I was passed out.”
Mr Warren’s friend Rasher claims that the twenty six year old “can’t hack the ket” and is left in a similar confused state every time he takes it.
“He’s fucking useless at the ket is Paul,” confirmed the man named after a breakfast item. “He’ll do a line and then half an hour later he’ll be like ‘where am I?’, ‘who has my trousers?’ or ‘I think I shit myself’, I don’t know why he bothers taking it at all.”
According to sources, Mr. Warren is believed to be “officially off the horse” after his latest delve into the depths of his subconscious, although, it is widely believed that he will be “back on it” by Friday as he “says this shit all the time.”
