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April 17, 2013
1 min read

White Supremacists Lynch Ring Of Black Pudding

The outbreaks of racist violence along the west coast continued this week when masked White Supremacists publicly lynched a ring of black pudding in Westport.

The tranquility of the peaceful community was shattered sometime around Saturday midday when three men draped in pillow cases stormed a butcher shop and seized the pudding in a seemingly unprovoked attack.

As an estimated 362 horrified townspeople gathered to watch helplessly, the lynching party set about screaming racial slurs at the pudding for nine hours, before finally snapping a Ja Rule CD in half and stringing the helpless blood sausage up by a piece of twine.

The perpetrators disappeared into the crowd shortly before Gardai arrived on the scene. Several attempts were then made to revive the pudding but unfortunately its life signs had already expired.

So far nobody has been arrested in relation to the heinous crime.

At the time of going to press, Clonakilty Food Company, was not available for comment.

WORDS: Keith Jordan

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