Woman Constantly Sending Facebook Event Invites Thinks She’s A Club Promoter

A newly hired promo worker with absolutely no experience who nevertheless considers herself a promoter has slammed the clubbing industry by claiming that “everyone’s a promoter these days”.

Twenty year old Aishling Dunne was hired by a local club night after liking and sharing a Facebook status in which the club night advertised vacant positions in their promotions department.

Club night owner, Karl Thompson, revealed that experience “wasn’t necessary” for the position they had advertised and claimed that Miss. Dunne was the ideal candidate for the job because “she was the best looking bird that shared the status” and had “massive potential” which he illustrated by cupping his hands near his chest to imitate women’s breasts.

After instantly changing her Facebook employment status to “Club Promoter” Ms. Dunne is believed to have sent out over six hundred event invites to her network of friends on the social media site, offering a slightly reduced entry fee to upcoming events run by her new employers.

After waiting patiently for almost five minutes and receiving no responses to her invites Ms. Dunne took to Facebook to vent her frustration, “So hard to make my new career as a club promoter work when everyone’s a promoter, can’t believe some of the invites I get to clubs I’d never have any interest in going to,” she moaned. “I’ve got enough invites of my own to get through without getting invited to every single club night that’s going on, don’t people know how annoying getting the invites is?”

After taking a lengthy toilet break to have a “number two” Ms. Dunne returned to find that still no one had accepted the invite and her annoyance became extremely more visible, “This promotions game is CUT THROAT. Can’t believe some of the other cunts out there in this industry just clicking send and waiting to reap the rewards,” she sobbed. “I’ve worked too hard to get to where I am only for some other little punks to come along and promote gigs on the same night as me. FML!!!”

When asked if she planned on doing any sort of promotional work outside of Facebook, Ms. Dunne responded stone faced, “Of course not. How would you even do that, I’m hardly going to send out hundreds of invites in the post now am I?

“That would cost me more than I could ever earn,” she continued, becoming more disillusioned with her new career. “To be honest I’m not sure if I even want to be a promoter any more, I’m actually thinking of becoming a DJ now it seems easy enough and it’s way more famous than being a promoter.”

Ms. Dunne is currently in the process of starting her own club night and has recently advertised for promotional staff, claiming that “no experience is required as full training will be provided”.