A young clubber, who claims to consider her body a temple, has opened up about her downright refusal to eat processed food because of the health risks – despite the fact that she lashes pills, coke and ket into her every weekend.
Karla Browne, a 23-year-old yoga and Pilates instructor from London, insists on being a pedantic and fussy eater when in restaurants or at dinner parties but puts her aversions to one side when it comes to highly processed drugs.
“I won’t eat anything that contains sulphites, meat, gluten, sugar, salt or dairy,” she explained while casually sucking on a menthol cigarette. “It’s all processed muck that’ll rot out your insides.”
“Not only that but it’s also terrible for the environment, farmed animals basically just rut around farting in their own filth which once they’re killed then gets slewed into the sea to kill fish, which as well as being beautiful creatures, are also the only animals which I’ll eat from time to time.”
Friends of Karla say that usually if someone offers her a slice of pizza or a bit of sausage she’ll respond by making a dismissive face and rudely refuse, but that if that same person were to offer her a line of cocaine – the processing of which devastates communities as well as the environment – she’ll happily accept.
“Ethically I just don’t agree with processed foods and I’ll refuse to eat them – loudly, and while in company,” she concluded. “If people want to slowly kill themselves by putting that crap into their bodies then that’s their business.”
Soon after our interview with Karla was conducted news emerged that she suffered a mild heart attack suspected to be caused by a heavy weekend of partying and drug taking.
Karla however has denied these claims and insisted that the health issues were most likely caused by “someone spiking [her] drink with some butter” or “not doing enough downward facing dog”.
